"Thank you, I needed that today…"

Our last blog post — about how many times on average people are rejected when trying to meet people and make friends — received this comment as a private message: “Thank you, I needed that today…I have gone on 15 first ‘friend’ dates with other new moms that have gone nowhere.”

This mother of two toddlers, living in a new state as a result of her husband’s work transfer, is struggling to make friends. She’s a funny, talented, intelligent, creative woman in her 40s. And she is having the same kinds of troubles our neurodiverse teens and adults have — trying to “get in where they fit in.” She’s doing all the right things — engaging in meet-ups online, seeking out others who share common interests, exchanging contact information — using well-cultivated and savvy social skills. Even so, she is struggling. Imagine the difficulties of our teens and adults who struggle with the first steps of how to find common interests!

It helped her hear our mantra: Friendship is a choice. You don’t get to be friends with everyone, and not everyone gets to be friends with you.

The upshot? Keep trying. Reach out. Sign up for meet-ups related to things that you like. Be yourself. Love yourself. Believe in yourself. The ones you need in your life will be there, in time, and you will both be lucky.

And if you need more social skills, reach out to us for coaching! We’ve got your backs.

*Image description: Young Black man sitting on park bench, hands clasped, wearing a yellow Kobe Bryant Lakers jersey.

**Photo credit: Yonas Bekele