Somatic Experiencing: The secret ingredient to developing social skills?
The first thing that comes to mind when we talk about social skills is how to talk, listen, and connect with others. But have you ever thought about how your body plays a part in all of this? That's where somatic experiencing comes in – it’s like tuning in to the signals your body is sending both yourself and others, and it can make a big difference in how you relate and connect with other people.
What’s somatic experiencing all about?
Somatic experiencing is basically paying attention to how your body reacts in different situations, especially social ones. Soma means body, so somatic experiencing can be thought of as body awareness. We all know the feeling of butterflies in our stomach when we’re excited. Or how our shoulders or jaw muscles tense up when we’re stressed? That's our body “talking” to us, trying to communicate how we feel.
Stress and trauma: the sneaky stuff holding us back
Sometimes, past experiences of stress or trauma can interfere with our social skills without us even realizing it. They might make us extra sensitive to certain social cues or leave us feeling anxious or unsure in certain social situations. In the blink of an eye, some unconscious trigger we’re not even aware of gets activated, causing a wide range of physiological reactions. Somatic experiencing helps us understand why our bodies react the way they do, how these unconscious reactions affect our behavior, and how we can change it.
It all starts with somatic awareness
So, how does somatic experiencing help us get better at relating to others? Well, it's all about becoming more aware of what our bodies are telling us.The body speaks to us constantly—noth through words, but through sensations. When we notice those little signals – like the tension in our jaw or how our heart races when we're excited – we start to understand our own emotions better. And when we're in tune with ourselves, we can navigate social interactions with greater ease and confidence.
Somatic experiencing might sound fancy, but it’s really pretty simple to learn. Start by…
Listening to your body: Somatic experiencing is tuning in to your body’s voice. When we pay attention to how we feel physically, we learn a lot about what's going on inside our heads and hearts. It's like having an extra sense that helps us understand ourselves and others better. (The technical term for perceiving sensations is interoception.)
Relaxing: Learning to relax when things get intense is a big part of somatic experiencing. Simple practices like deep breathing or learning to ground ourselves can help us stay cool and collected in social situations, even when things get a bit awkward, intense, or overwhelming.
Building bridges: When we're tuned into our bodies, we're better at picking up on the vibes of people around us. It's like we're speaking the same language – we can understand each other without even saying a word. That's how we build real connections and make friends for life.
Bringing somatic experiencing into everyday life
We begin every class at IRL Social Skills with 10-15 minutes of nervous system education and somatic experiencing to help develop our capacity for self-awareness, co-regulation and self-regulation. Because our programs take the form of a group coaching environment, this focus on our somatic experience sets the stage for greater understanding, collaboration and a deeper sense of community. Even though the classes themselves are virtual, the real-life application of somatic awareness and regulation is tangible. We practice together in a community of peers online, so that when you’re out in “the real world” these skills become second nature.
Wrapping up
Imagine if we all learned to listen to our bodies a bit more – how much smoother social interactions could be! By practicing somatic experiencing in everyday life, we can turn awkward moments into opportunities for growth and connection. It's like having a superpower that helps us feel good in our own skin and socialize with more ease and confidence.
Next time you're feeling a bit off in a social situation, remember to check in with your body. It's got a lot to say, and somatic experiencing is all about learning to listen. By tuning into our bodies, we can make somatic experiencing a routine part of navigating the world, socially.