How to help your autistic teen make friends and prevent loneliness
"My autistic teen doesn't have any friends." We hear this concern often from parents of autistic youth. Social communication and interaction difficulties can make it challenging for autistic teens to approach, initiate or maintain relationships with friends. So, how can parents help their autistic teen make friends?
You care about your child's health and happiness; their loneliness can be heartbreaking to witness. You see their isolation, and you're right to be concerned. Research suggests that autistic people experience higher rates of loneliness compared to the general population.
Here are just a few (sobering) statistics on loneliness experienced by autistic individuals:
A 2017 survey of adults with autism in the United States found that nearly 80% reported feeling lonely frequently or occasionally, compared to 44% of the general population (Cacioppo et al., 2018).
A 2019 study of children and young people with autism in the United Kingdom found that 79% reported feeling lonely, compared to 47% of typically developing children (Davies et al., 2019).
Research also suggests that social difficulties and feelings of isolation can persist into adulthood for many autistic individuals. A 2012 study found that autistic adults reported lower levels of social support and greater feelings of loneliness than non-autistic adults (Hedley et al., 2012).
A longitudinal study examining the effects of the pandemic on autistic teens’ anxiety and depression found that the mental health of autistic young people was disproportionately affected (Toseeb & Asbury, 2023).
As a parent, you don't need studies and surveys to know when your child is suffering. You can see it in their eyes, mood, and how they engage with others. Knowing how to support them will not only ease your concerns, it can help make them more resilient, happy, and resourceful humans throughout their lifetime.
5 ways TO help your autistic chid make friends
1. Identify your child's interests.
Many (if not most) autistic children have specific interests, hobbies, or passions. Helping your child find others who share these interests can be a great way to build friendships. Consider enrolling your child in clubs, classes, or groups related to what lights them up.
2. Provide opportunities for socialization.
While neurotypical teens may be chomping at the bit to be independent and have self-agency, autistic teens may need extra support and guidance when it comes to socializing. Providing opportunities for your child to interact in a structured, supportive environment can help build their social skills and confidence. Arranging get-togethers with other children, enrolling your child in social skills groups or therapy, or organizing social activities with other families can help.
3. Practice social skills.
Autistic children may benefit from explicit instruction and practice regarding social skills. Work with your child's therapist or teacher to identify specific social skills that your child needs to work on, and practice these skills through role-playing or other activities. Social skills courses like ours offer specific instruction in these vital skills while providing plenty of practice time with peers who experience similar challenges.
4. Encourage communication.
Communication can be challenging for many autistic young people, but helping your child improve communication skills can be vital to building friendships. Encourage your child to practice initiating conversations, taking turns speaking, and listening to others and model this behavior with others at home and in other social settings.
5. Foster a supportive home environment.
Finally, it's important to create a supportive home environment where your child feels safe, valued, and accepted. Parenting an autistic teen can be extra challenging, particularly if you or other family members also struggle with autism or other neurodivergence. However, by providing unconditional love and support at home, you will help your child develop the confidence, self-esteem, and resilience they need to navigate complex social situations and build meaningful friendships.