Different Times Call For Different Measures

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Different — and difficult — times require our ingenuity, as well as our community. We will get through this era of COVID-19 and civil/not-so-civil unrest — with a little help from our friends.

But what if you have trouble making and keeping friends? Then this sheltered-in-place situation becomes even more challenging. As I’ve mentioned before, a person doesn’t need a lot of friends…just one or two who have your back. One or two who you can call, or video chat, or text to check in, to share experiences, to express feelings, to connect. Whether we are introverts, extroverts, or a combination thereof, we are social creatures. Humans need other humans; we cannot survive without others. To be shunned in society is a kind of death sentence. It truly is balm for the soul, to have someone listen to you and who says, “I get it, this is really hard, it totally sucks actually, let’s do a Netflix watch party and laugh at a funny movie together,” or whatever constitutes your shared enjoyment, based on common interests.

Speaking of Netflix and common interests, there’s a new Netflix documentary series called Love on the Spectrum. It follows several outstanding, autistic young adults as they make their first forays into the dating world. Some of them have been “in love,” albeit unrequited. Most of them have never been on a date, never held hands, never kissed. All of them want to have someone with whom to share life’s ups and downs. Their parents want that for them, too. Dating is hard for anyone, whether or not you have a disability. It’s even more of a challenge when you struggle to pick up social cues, and to follow conversational rules. Interestingly, even neurotypical people are having to navigate different dating rules of engagement: long periods of text correspondence, dinner dates via Zoom, masks and 6 feet apart during in-person dates, COVID test results shared before any physical intimacy. So many more steps, so many new rules in this search for love, or even a companion — a “quarantine,” in this case a rhyme with “valentine.” We can help autistics and others who struggle socially to gain the knowledge and skills/tools necessary for dating, both during and post-pandemic.

Mara McLoughlinComment